Urgent Notice: Potential Danger of Dog Hair…..

In a press release today, the National Institute of Health has  announced the discovery of a potentially dangerous substance in the  hair of dogs. This substance, called “amobacter caninii” has been  linked with the following symptoms in females: Reluctance to cook,  clean or do housework, a reluctance to wear make-up, good clothes or high heels. Reluctance to spend money on home or car repairs until after ‘Baby’ has new collars, leashes, beds, treats, food, blankets or toys.

“Amobacter caninii” usually results in long hours away from home and  exhaustion which may lead to a loss of physical contact with other  humans (especially husbands and boyfriends). “Amobacter caninii” is  thought to be addictive, driving the need for additional sources –  this may lead to a “pack mentality” or like the potato chip  commercial, “you can’t have just one”.

Beware! If you come in contact with a female human infected by this substance, be prepared to talk  about dogs for hours.

Surgeon General’s Warning: Dogs are expensive, addictive, and may  impair the ability to use common sense.