Almost choked to death last night.  I am not kidding. Honest to God, death.  I was fixing dog dinners and I wanted to take my vitamins.  So I gulped them down, and I had two horse pills – fish oil – that I took alone even.  But they’d been in the fridge and were more solid than flexible, and they formed a union in my throat because they got stuck.  I coughed, but I guess I got going too hard, and the next thing I knew, my throat was in a contraction and I could not breathe.

I didn’t know what to do, so I did what I did when I almost drowned amongst the shallow Atlantic ocean riptides, I stayed calm, and relaxed as much as I could, taking in the little bit of air I was able to without panicking.  It was awful.  And I didn’t know where my cell phone was, and couldn’t waste energy…I just needed to get my throat to get out of my mouth.  My own throat was strangling me.

I really wanted to save myself the embarrassment of a visit from an emergency vehicle with flashing lights, besides not wanting to die, so what little air I found, I used.  I told myself to relax, take it easy, and I finally got some space in my throat, but I had to keep my neck stretched long and the chin up.  But the pills were still not right, and I knew I couldn’t cough or I’d start them back up, and my throat would contract again.  I don’t know how I managed not to cough, but I did.  I swallowed a little bit at a time, and that is hard to do when I’m not choking.  But I did it. When I finally got a little breathing going, and the capsules forced themselves down the hatch – painfully so – I found my cell phone and sat down.

The worst part was when I sat down, all my big boy and I thought my heart dog, Luigi was worried about was his dinner!  He sat by the bowls, which were on the counter and barked at me!  He didn’t even come to see if I was OK.  He wanted me to serve him that bowl of food!  Do you know who came over to me?  My crazy Raven of all dogs.  She had been sitting in the kitchen with Luigi staring at me and then she got up and came over.  I don’t know if it was just to tell me to get up and feed them or to see if I was OK.  But at least I had one dog who cares!  I have to re-examine who gets the spot on the bed.  Actually Raven won’t stay on the bed…she’s one of those dogs who visits then likes to lie on the floor.

Today I read it is wise to call from the land line, just leave it open and go out to the front door and wait.  It also said to flag down strangers and do the universal choking signal, which is hands on throat.  They, will then do the Heimlich maneuver.  Doncha love theory?  In the neighborhood I live in, I’d likely get robbed.  Well, OK, maybe not because of the dogs, but I will pass on that bit of advice.  How many of us know how to properly do that maneuver?  I don’t even know if I’m spelling it correctly.

Frankly, I don’t care about my spelling tonight.  I’m just glad I’m still breathing.